Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Not enough time in the day

OK, so trying to get back into the exercise swing of things. Every day I have good intentions and everyday, something knocks me out of my groove. It's not an excuse but it is the truth. How do you fit your exercise in while trying to take care of little ones? If I ignore them to do something for me, I feel like an asshole. If I keep getting fatter , I feel like a miserable role model. I tried the exercise during their nap but now they are hit and miss on that. I am already up til 2 am doing bloggy business trying to achieve a dream. I work online in the evenings.My husband works out of town most days ,so its just me. There just isn't enough time in the day. I seriously need to carve a niche of time for my workout. I;ve got to get a plan together!Any ideas?

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Beauty is more than skin deep

Well, since my last post lots has happened. I got my head on straight and I joined Weight Watchers. I had a great group, I had a great cheerleader ( my bestie Jen) and I was doing AWESOME! I lost 25 lbs and I was looking great and feeling more confident . You know, less like a frumpy fatty.Then ,once again, life happened. We got downsized , we had to move.I had to start over at a new group, without my cheerleader/workout buddy.But, I could do this. The group here..sucked. No motivation. Maybe it was me? Then another curve ball, my husband got a job that takes him out of state a lot of the time. I hate it. It is what it pays the bills. I suck it up...along with a lot of crappy foods. I'm still staying within my points but stress is making every pound hang on for dear life.So, i stay..and I stay, and then I get frustrated, I am starving, working out really hard and am getting NO RESULTS! You know how that feels? It feels like I was wasting my time. I know it wasn't logical. It was me being stressed and giving up. Life got in the way of my weight loss plan. Then it starts to snow ball.I gain a pound, I stop exercising, I get more lax on my points..wham! bam! thank you ma'am..a few months later...I'm 10 lbs heavier and very frustrated with myself. So, here I am frustrated and moving in the wrong direction from my goal. I'm making a get healthy. I really can't stand being chunky. I must be like some sort of self loathing fat that even a thing? It's always been a part of my mind. Even when I was skinny and puking 10 times a day, I never felt thin enough. I know this about myself. But I also know the scale doesn't lie and that I am about 90 lbs heavier than I was when I thought I needed to lose another 10 lbs.I've changed a lot.Now, its about being a good role model for my girls not vanity. Well, not JUST vanity. I am human. Nobody wants to look unattractive, right? Here I am at the starting line again. I am going to do it by sticking to my points and exercising. I am going to do it the healthy way. The other way is not an option. I want my girls to see my exercising and eating healthy. They are perfect as they are and I don't want to be a bad example.I can't be the Mom asking "Do I look fat in this?" What kind of example am I setting for my girls? That their measure in in their waist size? No, I want them to feel healthy and be proud of who they are and know that their worth comes from within, not from their appearance.